I was out hiking today at the Meadow and found this hilarious
bolted crack. It's probably about 5.7 and 20 feet high. It made me LOL.
There's no sense in getting all preachy and running through
the last 50+ years of climbing history including the current consensus on how
routes should be established. I feel like this picture accurately portrays my
feelings and the feelings of...well, I would say everyone but I guess that's
not the case.
There are some bizarre ironies here as well.
Irony 1: It's actually kind of run out to get the 2nd bolt.
If you fell, you'd probably deck.
Irony 2: The equipper was thoughtful enough to camouflage
the hanger with a neutral-colored spray paint. He's a real minimal impact kind
of fella.
Irony 3: He spray painted the hangers after they were placed
and got paint all over the rock.
This route has probably already been named but since I get
to write the guidebook, I'm trying to decide between some of the following
options. Other suggestions are welcome.
Murder of the
Possible
Too Short for Sport
Stirring the Pot
I Smoked SuperCrack
Bolt the Planet
Two Bolts and Three Ironies
I Do What I Want
Sell Your Rack, Buy a Drill
What's an Ethics?
Durpy Durp
only 20 feet? sounds like a boulder to me. I walked up on what I thought was going to be a bad ass v2ish high ball face like 25 ft or so only to find out it had three bolts in it. probably around the same area. you should just call that route Shits Retarded.
ReplyDeletehe just wanted to make sure everyone knew he climbed it first.
ReplyDeleteSuggestions:
ReplyDelete1.) You Crack me Up
2.) Not so subtle Spray
3.) No Sack for Crack
4.) Bolt guns & Spray Cans
I think it just climbs the face right of the crack and the crack is "off".
ReplyDeleteSeriously, though, that's some completely ridiculous stuff. "Sell Your Rack, Buy A Drill" is my favorite.
I'd Chop that %$#@ and call it "Done"
ReplyDeleteHere's Your Sign
ReplyDeleteWhile I am sure I wasn't the first, I climbed this on gear for a chuckle 2 or 3 years ago. That is if it is the short crack on the left side of the crag referred to as rehab. I believe I use 2 cams and rappelled using the giant tree on top.
ReplyDeleteI called it 'short and stout,' but 'short on ethics' may suit it better now.
Looks like four free hangers...
ReplyDeleteI like the Messner reference of 'Murder of the Possible.' Others in the same vain:
ReplyDeleteSans Ethics
Nieve Express
Bolting for Glory
Gym Gapers
Unethical Direct
Downward Bound
"Durpy durp" all the way!
ReplyDeleteI like "2 bolts, 3 ironies" heh
ReplyDeleteI agree with poster below.
ReplyDeleteChop that crap and call it "Welcome to the chop shop"
Ethics Shmethics
ReplyDeletei Can Has Sport Clime
Say it with Krylon
ReplyDeleteI'd call it
ReplyDeleteSport Trad is Neither
There's a similar situation--although not quite as egregious at The Other Place. Between Low Brow and McCauley's Irish Stout... someone bolted the big low angle flake that leads to the super juggy headwall. It goes at maybe 5.8, and they sprung for 1/2 inch bolts!
ReplyDeleteMurder of the Possible is hilarious. Gets my vote!
ReplyDelete