Thursday, September 6, 2012

The Derek Zoolander/Chris Sharma Interview

Up until recently, Derek Zoolander had reigned supreme as America's number one male model. But there's a new "Rock Star" in town that's threatening Derek's throne. I sat down with two of the best looking people in the world to find out just who is really better looking.

Me: All right guys. Let's see some signature looks.

Me: Wow, that was hot. You guys gave me a semi. Let's talk skin care. Chris, what do you prefer?  

Chris: "Daila bought me a L’Oréal anti-aging cream that was really nice,’’ he says. (RevitaLift Triple Power Deep-Acting Moisturizer; $25 at drugstores.) ‘‘I’m not picky, though. When it ran out, I just started using her cream,’’ (Nivea Q10 Plus Anti-Wrinkle Cream; $18.70 at

Me: Sounds nice. Derek?

Derek: "I prefer an unleaded gasoline. Usually a regular 87 Octane, but before a big shoot, I might use premium or even diesel."

Me: Werd Derek. Now Chris...I understand you do a lot of deep water soloing which is a very pure form of ropeless ascent over the ocean. Any problems with getting too tanned and beautiful when you're swimming around that Mallorcan coastline?

Chris: Yes, sometimes getting too tanned has been a problem for me. That's why I use Aveeno Baby Natural Protection Mineralblock face stick ($9.99 at

Me: Nice. Derek, how about you?

Derek: I recently did a commercial for Aveda in which I starred as a merman. Our motto is: Moisture is the essence of wetness and wetness is the essence of beauty.

Me: What! Sick work Derek. Chris, what do you do to unwind after a long photo shoot?

‘‘It’s important not to get too caught up in the rat race. When I climb, I fully disconnect from all the stresses of everyday life and am completely in the present.”

Me: Unwinding must be the key to great skin. Look at that back! Not one spot of bacne on that brisket. Derek, how do you unwind?

Derek: I like to get an orange mocha frappachino and drive around with friends. Sometimes I talk on my tiny cell phone.

Me: This rivalry between you is very recent. Chris just popped onto the modeling scene this morning and already he's turning heads around the world. Who was your last arch nemesis in the modeling world Derek?

Me: And you Chris?


The Biz said...

Thank you for the ironclad skincare beta.


alex said...

No bacne on the brisket: classic.

Well played, Michael.