Monday, May 27, 2013

Smoking Crack

I was out hiking today at the Meadow and found this hilarious bolted crack. It's probably about 5.7 and 20 feet high. It made me LOL.

There's no sense in getting all preachy and running through the last 50+ years of climbing history including the current consensus on how routes should be established. I feel like this picture accurately portrays my feelings and the feelings of...well, I would say everyone but I guess that's not the case.  

There are some bizarre ironies here as well.
Irony 1: It's actually kind of run out to get the 2nd bolt. If you fell, you'd probably deck.
Irony 2: The equipper was thoughtful enough to camouflage the hanger with a neutral-colored spray paint. He's a real minimal impact kind of fella.
Irony 3: He spray painted the hangers after they were placed and got paint all over the rock.

This route has probably already been named but since I get to write the guidebook, I'm trying to decide between some of the following options. Other suggestions are welcome.

 Murder of the Possible

Too Short for Sport

Stirring the Pot

I Smoked SuperCrack

Bolt the Planet

Two Bolts and Three Ironies

I Do What I Want

Sell Your Rack, Buy a Drill

What's an Ethics?

Durpy Durp


nic spruill said...

only 20 feet? sounds like a boulder to me. I walked up on what I thought was going to be a bad ass v2ish high ball face like 25 ft or so only to find out it had three bolts in it. probably around the same area. you should just call that route Shits Retarded.

Anonymous said...

he just wanted to make sure everyone knew he climbed it first.

Anonymous said...


1.) You Crack me Up
2.) Not so subtle Spray
3.) No Sack for Crack
4.) Bolt guns & Spray Cans

Jason Halladay said...

I think it just climbs the face right of the crack and the crack is "off".
Seriously, though, that's some completely ridiculous stuff. "Sell Your Rack, Buy A Drill" is my favorite.

Anonymous said...

I'd Chop that %$#@ and call it "Done"

Sarah said...

Here's Your Sign

Jonathan said...

While I am sure I wasn't the first, I climbed this on gear for a chuckle 2 or 3 years ago. That is if it is the short crack on the left side of the crag referred to as rehab. I believe I use 2 cams and rappelled using the giant tree on top.

I called it 'short and stout,' but 'short on ethics' may suit it better now.

Anonymous said...

Looks like four free hangers...

Joseph Crotty said...

I like the Messner reference of 'Murder of the Possible.' Others in the same vain:

Sans Ethics
Nieve Express
Bolting for Glory
Gym Gapers
Unethical Direct
Downward Bound

Anonymous said...

"Durpy durp" all the way!

Anonymous said...

I like "2 bolts, 3 ironies" heh

Anonymous said...

I agree with poster below.

Chop that crap and call it "Welcome to the chop shop"

Broooks said...

Ethics Shmethics
i Can Has Sport Clime

Anonymous said...

Say it with Krylon

Anonymous said...

I'd call it
Sport Trad is Neither

Anonymous said...

There's a similar situation--although not quite as egregious at The Other Place. Between Low Brow and McCauley's Irish Stout... someone bolted the big low angle flake that leads to the super juggy headwall. It goes at maybe 5.8, and they sprung for 1/2 inch bolts!

Anonymous said...

Murder of the Possible is hilarious. Gets my vote!