Saturday, February 27, 2010


I've picked up on some of the lingo the kids are using these days. LOL, ROFL, the more intense Roflcopter, WTF, etc. etc. Well if you didn't know there are entire websites devoted to the 3 simple letters: FML. It means F*** My Life. People use it as an expression of frustration when it just seems that everything goes wrong.

We woke up to an additional 6 inches of snow and 28 degrees. FML. But I was psyched to get the paneling in today. All of it! Started working by 8:00. I wanted to get the ceiling in first so I grabbed a panel and trudged through knee deep snow to get it to the van. Of course the van is parked at the edge of the driveway that drops off 8 inches at a 45 degree angle so I slipped and ate shit. Unfortunately I was carrying a piece of plywood that I was trying to keep dry that landed on top of me before being covered in powder snow. FML.

Of course it didn't fit right so I had to carry it back to the basement for additional cuts. Finally got it about right but needed to pound it upward to get it in place. I have no mallet and was 100% determined not to go to Lowe's today. Washcloth+hammer+duct tape= 'rubber' mallet. FML

The second ceiling panel didn't want to fit either. As an added bonus the van was 1.5 inches longer than 8 feet. So 2 sheets of plywood comes up just short enough to create a gap. I had to
fashion a 2x2 strip for the rear which of course took about an hour. Then I used my 'mallet' to pound the ceiling in place. The sheet metal screws are fairly short so I don't bust through the ceiling so I had to press my head as hard as I could against the roof while simultaneously achieving the delicate task of starting a screw which of course falls off the bit 9 out of 10 times. FML

I cut the door panel out of pre-stained wood then stained the edges. Of course the holes I drilled didn't line up with the door holes so I drilled new ones then plugged the bad ones with the old plastic 'plugs' that were on the old panel. To screw the door handle back on I had to open the door just a notch to access the handle. I glanced outside for a second and got snowblind just before trying to find the tiny hole in black plastic. I thought I was lined up but the screw was not in the hole and dropped off the bit, bounced once, fell through the tiny crack in the door, and disappeared into the snow. FML.

I searched for a while with my hand until it went numb. FML. Then I got clever and got a magnet. I searched with that for about ten minutes to no avail. FML. Then I spent the next 20 minutes with a hairdryer, blowdrying snow until the little brass devil appeared. FML.

The rear door panels were a PITA. The one with the door handle in particular. Plastic flexes so it was easy to take off the old one. Wood does not bend it breaks. Oh, well. It looks fine. FML.

I was poised to get all the paneling in today. It was only 3:00ish. I had to make some tricky cuts on the first panel but my measurements worked out. Amazingly. I was screwing it in when the battery on my drill driver went dead. I went to replace it only to find that neither battery would fit back in. It was broken. I tried hard to figure it out. To make it work. I ended up duct taping the battery on but the springs kept pushing it out. I was determined not to go to Lowe's. If I could hold the panel with my left hand and balance a screw on the bit then push it to the surface and pull the trigger while simultaneously pushing on the battery with my forearm it would work. I'd set up for this feat of coordination and the screw would fall off the bit everytime. FML. I ripped the duct tape off, determined to fix the drill but just ended up bashing it into the floor repeatedly. If it wasn't broken before it sure was now. FML

I went to Lowe's to spend 100$ on a new drill. FML. The tool guy told me that my drill was under warranty. It had a 2 year warranty! But I don't have the receipt. "No problem" he told me. They can look it up using my phone number. "Man, these guys are great" I thought. So I drove home, got the drill, and returned to Lowe's where they informed me that "We only keep track of receipts for 30 days. You'd have to send it of to Porter Cable to be repaired." FML.

So I bought a Black and Decker for 10 dollars less than my old PC. Got it home and discovered it's a POS. FML. Should have spent the extra 10 to get the same drill I had. Of course the batteries were dead so I set one on to charge. Waited 15 min. then took it out and got half a hole drilled before it died. FML.

I did not finish the paneling today.

No comments: