Wednesday, July 14, 2010

random photos and tidbits

This is how the Roman Empire fell. That's right.

I am an art lover and this is one of my favorite pieces. It was taken from the Roman Theatre at Orange. The put it back in the theatre for Ozzy concerts.

This is not nearly the worst we've seen here in France, just an opportunity for a photo. This one guy at the crag was wearing nothing but tight black underwear. At the crag! Just standing there in all his hairy-legged glory. No big deal.

Dungeons and Dragons rules. These guys get to dress up and play in real castles. They were practicing their spear throwing.

Straight out of Indiana Jones.

This is Elissa firing back a crepe. I had a hamburger which oddly comes without a bun. Which is strange considering how much the French love bread. Which brings me to my Stephen Colbert inspired Tip of the hat/wag of the finger.

Wag of the Finger: To Dr. Robert Atkins

The French are proof that your diet is a sham. These people operate on a baguette based economy. The entire world here revolves around carbohydrates and yet there are no obese people. None, that I've seen. Everyone is thin and I watch them carrying baguettes at all times of day. Baguettes for breakfast, lunch, dinner. Baguettes with jam, with cheese, free range baguettes with nothing, all kinds and varieties of baguettes. My best estimate is that each skinny frenchman eats somewhere in the vicinity of 5 loaves of bread per day. And I'm sorry to hear Dr. Atkins that you are in fact dead and at the time of your death you were: CLINICALLY OBESE! That's right. Dr. Atkins you should have eaten more baguettes.

Tip of the Hat: smoking

The French still smoke cigarettes. They smoke in restaurants. They flick their butts out car windows. The young kids smoke and it looks cool. I find this very refreshing. About 10 years ago i was shamed and ostracized into quitting smoking much like the rest of America. So I tip my hat to you France for continuing to smoke in one last great expression of personal freedom. And don't sweat the lung cancer. You're public health care will take care of you.

Just a few things I forgot to mention:

We got to watch this little kid named Enzo Oddo one-hang Realization. He hiked up the Biographie bit, fell at the crux, which is interesting to watch because somehow I know every move of that route. I don't know maybe I've watched Dosage vol. 1 a few times or maybe a few thousand. Not much difference. Sometimes a wake up at night and realize I just had a dream of lunging for the finishing jug out left and screaming just like Sharma as I stick it. Whatever. It's who I am. I'm not ashamed. So anyway, this kid Enzo gets back on and hikes to the top. Looked like 5.12. and he's cutting feet through the crux because he's so short. Then he gets to the anchor and says "take" in a high voice! Seriously, this kid's voice hasn't even changed! He's 14. If it wasn't 1000 degrees he'd have sent for sure. If you haven't heard of Enzo will.

There are these cool birds that live in the pockets at the Cascade sector at Ceuse. This wildlife biologist guy was taking pictures of them. They are called "Royal Creeper". Google search it if you're into cool wildlife. Really pretty and they seem to hover like humming birds.

I got on Carte Blanche, some famous 8a at Ceuse. I was trying to work out the crux and some woman gave me beta. Then she put down her baby after breastfeeding and fired the rig. Come on, I train like mad, do nothing but climb and think about climbing, then I come to France and some 95 pound Frenchwoman spits one out, carries it an hour up hill, feeds it with her obviously heavy breasts, then fires my project in my face. Seriously, that is just hurtful.

Today is Tour du France day. Very exciting. Next time I get some internet access I'll throw up some pictures of me crossing the finish line in a yellow jersey. So psyched!

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